have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
