My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
