Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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