I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
