they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
