I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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