the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
