I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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