Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
