Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
