I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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