you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
