I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
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That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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