i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
