hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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