I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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