Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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