what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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