Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
