Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
