24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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