I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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