Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
