you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
