So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
