operation have a gay friend backfired
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
not ubering you a puppy
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
