WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
