for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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