Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
