so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Randomize
