with your own penis?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
