Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
