maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
