Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
She just used a chaser for red wine.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize