You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
