I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
