rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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