In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
