I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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