Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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