If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
