not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he was CRYING into my vagina
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
