You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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