Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
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I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
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ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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