I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
