Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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