Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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