I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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