How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
