I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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