Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
