Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
