I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
