If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
A+ Viking dick
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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