one might say we're banned from that church
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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