But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
