So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I got inside last night via doggy door
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
