when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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