haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
