I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
worst night to have a conscience
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
