Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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