nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
