a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
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I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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