Swine flu. Run for my life!
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
