Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
