Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
