so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
