Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
