I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
