FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
