his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
