god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
