He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
