i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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