If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
