As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just blew my weed a kiss
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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