well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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