Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
