Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
