you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
