It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize